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For us, that means learning about each other’s cultures.

He teaches me about German beer and soccer chants; I familiarize him with my Caribbean culture and Jamaican cuisine.

I walked down the cereal aisle in the grocery store, determined to finish my shopping list.

As I skimmed my eyes across the rows of boxes, I landed on what I was looking for: a jumbo box of Rice Krispies.“Good choice,” a deep, bellowing voice confirmed.

But sometimes, like when I encounter a well-dressed family man with a mutual love for certain breakfast cereals, I wonder if I am failing my people.

After all, 50 years ago in many states it was still illegal for us to marry anyone who was not also black. Although race relations are still far from perfect, I acknowledge the steps toward inclusion that we’ve made.

I could love my skin and also love Britney Spears and country music.

Blackness isn’t homogeneous, but it took me a while to see that.

He was wearing a professional outfit, leather dress shoes and a brown wool houndstooth coat with the collar popped.Nevertheless, I still feel that, by not dating black men, I’m neglecting the shared history, solidarity and future prosperity of my fellow people.As a young girl and even throughout college, I was frequently annoyed when my peers would suggest that I would magically find a partner if I exclusively pursued black men.Even when I have expressed romantic interest in black guys, it has always been a futile effort.That was perhaps the most frustrating aspect of my well-meaning friends’ advice.

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