Ambivalent women dating

Secure adults offer support when their partner feels distressed.They also go to their partner for comfort when they themselves feel troubled.Instead of feeling real love or trust toward their partner, they often feel emotional hunger.They're frequently looking to their partner to rescue or complete them.Children with a secure attachment see their parent as a secure base from which they can venture out and independently explore the world.A secure adult has a similar relationship with their romantic partner, feeling secure and connected, while allowing themselves and their partner to move freely.Pseudo-independence is an illusion, as every human being needs connection.Nevertheless, people with a dismissive avoidant attachment tend to lead more inward lives, both denying the importance of loved ones and detaching easily from them.

Even though anxiously-attached individuals act desperate or insecure, more often than not, their behavior exacerbates their own fears.

If we have a working model of dismissive/avoidant attachment, we will have a tendency to be distant, because our model is that the way to get our needs met is to act like we don't have any.

We may then choose someone who is more possessive or overly demanding of attention.

For example, if we have a working model of anxious/preoccupied attachment, we will feel that in order to get close to someone and have our needs met, we need to be with our partner all the time and get reassurance.

To support this perception of reality, we may choose someone who is isolated and hard to connect with.

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They may try to just avoid their anxiety or run away from their feelings but, instead, they are overwhelmed by their reactions and often experience emotional storms.

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